![]() When you are having a good time, you are aware of having a good time, but you do not feel the sensations of pleasure through your body. If you are dissociated from the present, you are outside the sensations of your body, looking on. Note that you can be associated for some memories and dissociated for others. If you associate into a bad time from your past, you imagine yourself back in that time, looking out of your own eyes, and you feel again the pain of that time. When you are having a bad time, you are also aware of the painful emotions as they arise.Įqually, if you associate into a good memory from your past, you are right back there, present in that moment, looking out of your own eyes, and you feel again the pleasurable emotions of that time. When you are having a good time, you are feeling all the pleasurable emotions in real time. If you are associated into the moment, living from inside your body, you are particularly aware of all the feelings and emotions going on inside you. There grew more of the music, and less of the words.Īs ways of being in the world, both association and dissociation have advantages. What have you learned about the two ways of being? ![]() And finally step into your own shoes in the now, fully experiencing how it is to be associated into all the feelings and sensations of the moment. Then take a step even further back, to experience further detachment from the present. Experience how that is, when you are at a remove from your feelings and emotions, looking on. If you are already dissociated, step further backwards to put more distance between yourself and your feelings. Experience how it is to be dissociated, observing “you” from the outside. Then take a step backwards, with the sense of leaving the present moment where you were standing a minute ago. If you have found that your default position is associated into the now, start there, and experience fully how it is to be right in the present moment, looking out of your own eyes, aware of what you are feeling inside you. These two positions create different experiences, so let’s experiment with them now. If you pointed somewhere outside your body, you are dissociated from the moment. Basically, if you pointed at your own body, you are associated into the moment. Other people point to the ground just in front of themselves. “Now” is where they are: they stand in the now. Many people point to their own body or to their own feet. To discover more about these differences, I am going to give you an instruction now that I want you to follow without thinking about it too much. ![]() ![]() The choice of one or the other also affects your voice profoundly. These are crucial distinctions in your way of relating to the present and they create fundamental differences to how you experience life and how you communicate. It is like being present as an observer, looking on at everything that is happening, with your feelings locked away inside you. When it is not expressing what is going on, there is a disconnect, a sense of being at one remove. When your voice successfully expresses what is going on for you, you are present in the moment, experiencing and feeling in real time. What is the difference in your state of mind between the two cases? We have seen that your voice can express what is going on for you at a deeper level or it can simply fail to mirror your feeling and on the contrary actually disguise it. A good head and a good heart are always a formidable combination.
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